What is the right age to get married & have kids?

[Skyline_Drift_Master]

Yeah it might be a stupid topic but just wondered what people think these days. A lot of people say around 30 is a right age but to me I think between 24-26 is the right age, after that it gets too late.


There was a time when people used to get married at somewhere between 16-20


Whereas to have kids, for me about 2 years after marriage, not straight away.





adding one more q:


How old the girl should be? ie age difference. For me same age (few months older or younger then me) or 1-2 years younger

[needz]

For all the young Kids & Old kids :-)
Reference: Most pure "Islam"

[asamieh]

As per my view the best age of marraige is around 24 25 yrs as per the Sunnah of our Holy Prophet (SAW).

and its not the age difffernce that matters it the understanding that matters between the two partners. "Jis ne zindagi guzarni hai us ko pura haq hona chaheye" :-)

Nowadays majority from girls side also from boys side people are looking for a better deal (you know what i mean) a better party. I know some one who has a lot of trouble convincing his family for a girl which is two years older than him and a little weaker in financial terms then the boys side . Bcz his family wants that the girl's family should be well off so that it would be helpful in the career of the boy and could provide good opportunities. I hate such people personally. and the person says to his family k kia me koi bhooka nanga houn jo me aesi family se relation banaooo. lots of time he is in my home due to regular fights

[air_explorer]

@TB


is insecure feeling ka solution bhi sirf shaadi hi hai,go for it !!

[s55]

asimgujjar
I hope you will start feeling for her as the time passes by

shezy_optra_dohc
Will say again sooner the better.

TrueEye
I can understand that, by the way what kind of boys do you like?

hash4u
danishmandi ki baat kardi barber ne (y) nowadays majority of the parents ignore this factor even though they were married at younger ages. Unless they are reminded by their children.

c123pk
Very true, this is getting worst especially with very young girls.

needz
iftar karlein ab, faaka makroo na ho jaaye

[xalmanreyaz]

wen it starts tinkling :p

[sona]

Assalamualaikum







Nice topic going on.




Search for the girl. The girl who loves you, not the girl you love.




No kids, try helping (adopting) at least one orphan child.




If you have the guts do do this, do marry or live a pathetic life (Exceptions omitted).:A




Good days.

[309]

@rustry,
arey bhai appko bohat jaldi ho rahi hai thora sabar kero. im 20 and i haven't even disscused abt my marriage with my parents nor my parents have told me abt my marriage.

well to me arrange marriages sounds better bcoz its the parents of both the sides who makes the decision that their children can marry so if in future any problem comes up btw husband n wife then the pressure is not only on the couple but also on the parents and then it their responsibility to solve it up, whereas in love marriages i have seen parents not talking interest in such matters and they leave it on their son or daughter as they have forcefully married to the guy or girl.

for a guy to be standing in his own feet before marriage is very important these days as i have been a witness to a case myself. mera aik couzin almost psycho ho gaya hai bcoz usne shadi ker li hai zabardasti aur bacha bhi ho gaya hai . couxin k paas koi professional degree nai hai sirf koi graphics designing ka course kya hai woh bhi complete nai hoa hai. ab he has gone into depression bcoz uske paas na tou job hai aur kharche bohat hain obviously wife aur bachey ka bhi kharcha hota hai. parents ne bhi itni tawajaa nai di aur ab yeh haal hai k mere couxin ko life long medicine leey ka bol diya hai doctor ne aur agar woh yeh pills nai lega tou aur bhi buri halat ho jaey gee like he will become voilent too aur shayad pagal bhi ho jaey itna samjhaya tha mere father ne k bhai aagey chal k bohat problems aeingee per agar koi samjhey hi nai tou admi kya kersakta hai yeh tou nai ker sakty they k lard k beth jaen. ab exactly wohi sab kuch ho raha hai jo my father had in his mind k yeh ho gaa. that couxins life is gone now, woh kuch nai khata sirf ciggaretein pite rehta hai tension ki waja se aur bilkul hanger ho gaya hai.

so guyz ka sikha tum loggon ne? be 200% that u can take the responsibilty of the wife and kids. sirf parents hi reh jatey hain mushkil waqt main help kerne l liyeh aur baqi sab bagh jatey hain dum dabba k koi nai ata poochne phir.

[carbonclass]

I think at 25 you should get married....

[baryar]

i think for men it should be 25-30 and for women 20-25

[hunnyahmed]

18 as islam says

[ZXMCO]

Originally Posted by ahmedbutt1999

not before 21 and not late then 26 and kids k muamle main i am agree with you 2 or 2.5 years after marriage,, and age difference main 1 year younger perfect hai, because aap ki hone wali bhabhi b mujh se 1 year younger hain..

aaye haye haye, butt sahib kiya baat hay aap ki, yanni kay pehlay say hi reservation karai hui hay, chalo ALLAH khair karay, Bhabbhi ko hum sub PakWheels bhaiyoun ki taraf say Salam arz kijiye ga

[HumanGenius]

OMG what a "hot" topic - 165 replies in 2 days=1 of the most active forums in PW history (Y)(Y)

@hunny
Where does Islam say that? Reference?

[ZXMCO]

Originally Posted by rusty_racer94

I am gonna get married at 22 Bachon ka baad main sochoon ga

Thats the spirit....

[ZXMCO]

Originally Posted by attie4

The early you settle in life is better. Worked out great for me.Alhamdoallah.





I got married when I was 23. One kid right away. 2nd kid last yr. Both kids 7 yrs apart. It's not that we didn't try. When Allah wanted it to happen then you can't argue. Both kids worked out the best for both of us. First kid was born in 01 when me and my wife, both finished collage. Then she got into med school when he was 2 and I started my own business. Now the 2nd child was born last yr when my wife is about to finish her residency and we gonna start a new chapter in our lifes next june inshallah.





All my brothers were married when they were pretty young and they are very well settled in their lifes and doing great by the grace of Allah.





+ I didn't have to give up my hobbies even when I had my first child. Had a Supra since past 6 yrs, a 10 sec DSM since 04 and a GSX750 that I kept for 2 yrs. So now I got bored of all that. Have done in life pretty much what I wanted and when i wanted. So now the Supra is gone, DSM for sale for something newer and better(Z6ZO6 or a 996/7 911tt next yr inshallah). I'm keeping the fire arms though.lol





Oh yeah, this would be our 10th yr wedding anniversary in Oct.

B-) WOWwwww now THATS the SPIRIT B-) and happy 10th Wedding Anniversary

[enerlevel]

u should get married when u make enough money to support yourself and ur wife. untill and unless i dont stand on my own feet and start earning , i wont get married. tht could be at 26 - 30 - 35 , i dont care. but i want to enjoy "our" life with "our" money rather then spending my parents money and having gr8 fun.......

[s55]

bande ko shadi us waqt karni chahiye jab uske dosotn ke bache jawan hokar nokri par lag chuke hon. I support TrueEye

[KamranAslam]

@enerlevel: I am more than happy to hear this from you .

IMO: Before getting married there are few things which should be taken care.

- You should be employed and Earning decent money.
- Responsable i.e Should know the due dates for utility bills

There can be more but to me these are the basic task one should be able to accomplish.

Last but not the lest: Ability to speak for ownself.

And the best age I think between 25 - 30 for MALE and for female 22 - 27 Max, and Baby right away after Marriage this baby thing pulls you more closer to each other, taking pills and other preventation to delay the Baby not healthy, plus in most of the cases this decreases the attractivness among the couples.

The Baby soon after marriage engages both together with something new to do each day, rather than rolling each other till morning.

[s55]

Last line was fascinating

[KamranAslam]

^^^^ LOL. Our typical desi lady will never go on these long honey moon nights 2, 3 ,4 months after that she needs a Baby to get a change in her life or else she will look for change which can result in conflicts.

Again this is all my Opinions based on my experiance observing ppl around me and hearing words of mouth of different ppl from diffrent cultures.

[s55]

@kamran
You're right there and I think it's a mutual decision. Nobody can predict before marriage when they're going to have a baby. But a aspect is that, if you can't afford to take responsibilities than it's better to get married at least, can delay to start a family till you can afford and many people do that. Just delaying your marriage for this reason is not wise, and I have seen unmarried people more concerned about they future children then their wives. You can always talk about it.