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A Lighter version
PIA
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain Bashir Rana welcome you on board. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some unknown reasons. This is flight PK- 420 to Lahore. Landing is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere at least.
PIA has an excellent record for safety. In fact, our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth, pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits, provided you have paid for the coupons twice!
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air Blue, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase to sit on comfortably.
Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew's wedding
Thank you for choosing PIA. Have a nice journey at your own disposal!