How to talk about Finances with your spouse?

[tintin1]

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[chinyoti]

Make up your mind buddy, when she didn't spend you wanted her to spend. When she's spending you don't like her spending habits.

Communication is the key. Talk to her, let her know what is your budget and what are you willing to spend. Else make a fixed pocket money for her to save or spend.

And tell her that she needs to tell you when she spends over her pocket money. Or you are saving for something

[Massive_One]

She has never ever spent any of the money i sent her in the last year and a half, i always encouraged her that its our money and that if she ever needs to spend it for her expenses she is most welcome.

bro. you actually gave her the confidence to spend money by her own will... so now she's got the confidence, just let her be herself for the next 1 or 2 months, see her spending habits and you'll realize if she is spending justly or not.... even buying grocery and seasonal clothes cost A LOT these days and all that comes under necessities of course.

our monthly expenditure goes up to 80-90 thousands a month, excluding kids school fee, but at the end i know my wife spends it on my kids and family's well-being and happiness, especially in case when their father (me) is not around them ... so, sometimes, you have to digest these kind of shocks with super shock absorbers : ) ... groceries prices have skyrocketed after tabdili : ( ..

i'd suggest to wait and see at least for a month or two.. if she keeps spending more than your expectations, then you can politely explain to her that why you want her to spend less amount of money ( of course because you want her to be with you and for that you would need money)

[mani_aryan]

dont worry this is due process and everybody has to go through it once. agay se sb settle hoga. koi car related msla ha to bolo.

[disisfifty]

maybe instead of getting ideas from group of people who spend more time with their cars rather than with spouses and relatives, and expecting a logical answer, you should talk to her. If you consider the recent price hike in Pakistan, you would come to realize that its not high as per current standards.

[disisfifty]

ab chalo 125 kay ring piston pay baat kartay hain.

[HellsGuardian]

So she spent 32k once in 2 years and you held her for questions? i don't like it... If it was her pocket money, she is free to spend however she wants and whether all at once or in short amounts. If it was your savings then yes she needs to talk to you before making big purchase.

[sk_cooldayz]

Make her a separate bank account and transfer her monthly expense in that account. She should have freedom to spend from that account. She can spend it to her liking. If she asks for more, then you can ask politely about extra expenses.

[ali454]

A little accountability regarding spending is healthy in my opinion and there is nothing wrong with it. Never give a free will in money matters to anyone (wife/kids).

Since youve given her the liberty to spend its actually gross to ask about her spendings now.

[capsat]

trust deficit
this is utterly wrong in a husband wife relationship.
you were worried why she is not spending., you compelled her to go easy.
when she used it at her will once in 2 years you are upset,

seriously what is your relationship ? married couple?
or just a live-in holiday visitation relationship ?

[UAHMAD]

To me it seems like the problem lies somewhere else.

Please don't take me wrong but the OP regularly posts his personal problems on PW. I haven't ever seen any of his threads/posts pertaining to autos or traveling (the two features that describe Pak Wheels).

There is no harm in sharing private matters and seeking counseling but the respected member has gone to the level of taking advice about family planning. I can understand that he might be feeling lonely abroad and uses PW as an emotional sink. Who am I to stop him? But he needs to realize that he must improve his social and family relationships. We all face such situations but one must confide in close associates/family members/friends etc to sort out these issues otherwise one has to seek help online only, where solution of all problems don't lie.

A man should act like a man rather than being chicken - hearted all the time. Please excuse me but try to be a man and face the realities of life. You are raising a family. Can't afford to behave like this.

And, I also feel that respected member desperately needs a hobby/pass time to channelize his energies and spare time from work. I have a proposition. Let's just buy an old car and start throwing money on its rebuild like some of us are doing.

[Xulfiqar]

you mean ring pishtamm?
sleeb?
vaal?

[capsat]

It appears that long distance marriage has not been consummated as yet. Let us pray that both get together soon and start a blissful life at soonest.

till then

quiz him for what type of vehicle he own and how does he maintain it with coolant or water, snow tyres or all regular tyres in winters.

gentleman shall look for a hobby till life kick start in full swing.

[mgalaxy3]

Mind n mental health is real.

This is non wheels forum.

I think it's OK for him to ask things here.

[mgalaxy3]

You handled it right.

32k in a single grocery shopping trip is super super super massive in Pakistan.

It's good to ask subtly like you did.

Nothing wrong in it.

[umairjamil6]

Not super super massive though. Can happen in this mehangai

[Xulfiqar]

You forgot that the groceries were purchased in canada but with Pakistani money

[mgalaxy3]

You forgot that the groceries were purchased in canada.

Am I missing something.. she's in Pak and purchased there.

[Xulfiqar]

Which makes it a non issue then, 32k on groceries, toiletries and clothing in Pakistan is chump change nowadays.

[talhawaleed]

If she is not spending and one day, she spend 32k then that's not a big deal. Just tell her, that she should manage it within the budget and the money you send her. Use card on joint account only in emergencies as amount borrowed from card has to be paid back as otherwise its defaulted and fined.

if she has gathered the money from budget you have allotted her then dont bother as its her money and she must have saved it for something big which makes her happy.