Hilarious Stupid Funny Tricks/Works By Mechanic Ustaads

[Xulfiqar]

I have seen people collect the following lubes from scrap

1 - engine oil (japani hai)
2 - used gear oil (japani peer baba ka hai)
3 - used ATF (japani hai)
4 - CV joint grease (Allah ki apni shop ki grease hai bhai)

my input to this.

"YOU CANNOT FIX STUPID"

[NASRUM]

Kindly remove the word Miyan after Allah it's just not appropriate to write or say with Allah however Allah Subhan a O Ta'ala is appropriate & have there respectful Arabic meaning.

[omersiddiqui5482]

@Xulfiqar sir, People Also collect Oil from Electric Transformers they say it has magical medicinal Powers...

[Xulfiqar]

Oh yes!! - those were epic.

is tel mein se kitni bijli guzri hai andaaza hai tumko? - bohot jaan hai iss me.

LOL - ignorance beyond the limit - infact twofold after the limit.

[ahmedstudio]

Here is another ustaad story

During the brake service of a friend's ride (Grande 2016) at Toyota Sialkot's recommended brake machining shop, the mechanic didn't install the springs, upon inquiring, he said "in ki waja sa awaz ati brake sa" facepalm I asked him the purpose why factory brakes had them? "G ye aesy hi aty hain, in ki zaroorat ne hoti". I wanted to give him a good one right under the ear at that time but I simply replied, "Wapis lagao isy, tum logo ko pata ho tw gari tum banaty or mechanici gora karta." Ye…

[ahmedstudio]

I was facing overfuelling issues recently. Sabir ustaad, a self proclaimed electrician + mechanic gave the verdict straightaway that it wasn't an issue of overfuelling, rather the black smoke was result of a dirty silencer 🤪, so he suggested to clean the silencer. I insisted that I noticed the mileage so silencer is not related to this issue. Finally I got to convince him, and he declared that all overfuelling problems have only one reason which is 'a bad fuel assembly'. For him the fuel assembly consisted of fuel pump and fuel filter only (and he ruled out the functioning and importance of everything else 🤪🤪). He tried to convince me to change the 'fuel assembly'. I did, it was blessing in disguise since the pump wasn't bad but in this process I got to change the clogged fuel filter. The issue didn't rectify completely, so here comes Sabir ustaad again in the scenario and changes all four injectors. The issue remains there. He suggested to change the four coils and plugs. By that time I get the engine diagonosis and suggested by @xulfiqar and @rajaatta to start with O2 sensor, I get to learn about right way to proceed with diagonosis. By replacing the O2 sensor the issue got resolved.

Moral of the story: EVERYONE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE HAS A SABIR USTAAD. NEVER LISTEN TO SABIR USTAAD ALTHOUGH HE HAS SWAPPED 1100 CC IN MY PAJERO JR 660 TURBO IN PAST. ALWAYS TRUST THE OBDII SCAN AND THE GEEK WAY. SABIR USTAAD IS NO GEEK.

[usman1texh]

was facing overfuelling issues recently. Sabir ustaad

Sabir sounds like a very "ustaad" type name. And I love it when people call them Saabar.

[ahmedstudio]

Yes and he is a pakka-Ustaad. People call him Ustaad Saabar.
He occasionally beats his assistants. Whenever I used to go to him, everytime he smoked half packet of my cigarettes.

[nagar1]

I used to go to a Ustad in DHA Lahore He used to keep a glass on hist "Chota's" back while in murgha position and the glass if fell down from his back he was up for a tight wali thukai

[ahmedstudio]

A relative of mine had oil reduction issues in his 1NZFE, so instead of rectifying the oil reduction issue he started pouring 20W-50 BECAUSE MECHANIC USTAAD SAID and now he cries about heat up and fuel consumption issue . Now that the vehicle is heating up because of thicker oil, he filled the radiator with pure coolant (no mixing with distilled water), I cautioned him that it will result in build up of sludge and eventual blockages in cooling system but to no avail. I don't know why people don't follow the proper way to correct the issues and just use 20W-50 as a 'solution' for every problem.

Basically people don't understand machines, and above all, these jaahil mechanic ustaads have misguided people. Also people trust a mechanic ustaad with dirty clothes, gaaliyon wali zubaan and beating his chota type more than an informed and educated response.

[anon35615524]

Your last sentence speaks and covers all regarding identification of a True "Ustaad" :

1. Dirty Clothes
2. Abusive language
3. Tashadduudd on "Shagirds"

And to add further:

1. Suggestions of Mota Tail
2. Improper tools / Non availability of tools
3. Jugaru program in almost everything
4. Hathora as solution to everything
5. Car manufacturers and US / Japan, etc. ko jahil samajhna aur bura bhala kehna, and khudd ko; Post-Doc in Automotive Engineering

Etc... Etc...

[ahmedstudio]

Recent I was at junkyard to get aircleaner assembly, I found a clean unit. I opened the filter box and inside there was a clogged air filter with Japanese language written on it. The junkyard shop owner had his eyes popped out and he took the air filter away from me saying "ye Japani hai, iske saath paisey zyada ho jaayein ge". I told him that I don't need it anyway and asked him out of curiosity " aap iska kya karein gey?". He replied "ye bik jaaye ga, iske barrey shauqeen aate hein yahan"
🤪

[ahmedstudio]

Exactly. Specially, blaming the car manufacturers that they put fazool cheezein in order to make money haha 🤪 . Also considering the educated and informed customer as a fool "aap ko nahin pata, hum 20 saal se yehi kar rahey hein" 🤪

Their favourite things:
1) Make the radiator fan direct
2) Remove Thermostat 🤣
3) Pour 20W-50 oil in ALL engines
4) Put ATF oil in CVT transmission 🤪🤪🤪
5) Throw away coolant and replace it with tap water

[RehanBhatti]

hum 20 saal se yehi kar rahey hein" 🤪

Destroying the cars

[sameerulhaq064]

Few weeks ago the high beam of my Baleno stopped working. I checked all the harnesses and everything seemed fine but the headlights would turn off as soon as I turned on the high beam. I wasn't able to rectify the problem and took her to an electrician near my house. I told him to check whether current was flowing through the high beam wire and he checked and said yes. Then he asked Kai what is the problem and I told him. He looked at me and said Kai he knows what the problem is, I said what? He then says Kai aap ne Chinese wali lights lagayi hain inn mai LID (Not LED, not HID but LID) high power ki hoti Hai aur wo wiring kharab Kar deti Hain. Mere paas buhat Baleno aayi Hain same lights Kai saath yehi masla tha maine sahi kardiya new wiring daal Kar. I literally said: B****hod Ch****ya samjha Hai Kya? And went back. Problem was a blown fuse which I changed for about 30 rupees and everything was good.

[ahmedstudio]

For the same issue with my Toyota the 'lectrition' tried to give direct current to headlight. I snatched my car back and ran away

[omersiddiqui5482]

@sameerulhaq064 Bhai jazbati hogaye.
@ahmedstudio yes they try to hide every stupid unusable japani part and ask ridiculous high price for something that is absolute junk.

A couple of days ago I sourced a clock for my lancer 88 genuine I was astonished myself on that. My usual technician Usman wasn't available i thought it is a simple task of wiring the clock up. The other electrician blew a fuse but cloudnt wire a 4 pin clock. Today I took it to .y usual electrician he wired the thing up in freaken 10 mins.

[unknown_one]

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[Xulfiqar]

Hmm, your relative didnt pay attention in chemistry class in school.

Ethylene glycol has pretty poor heat transfer properties, water has best but it causes corrosion, thats why a 50% mix is advised of ethylene glycol based coolant so every part remains clean and protected while the water mix takes the heatload away from engine to radiator.

[Xulfiqar]

Oh man..

I can fill libraries with such stuff, real stupid ones were the idiots asking more than new part price for their piece of trash.

One moron actually sold used air fuel and oil filters, dented and smashed too. People bought them as tabbaruk. It was hilarious.

Or people buying wrong obsolete parts when the manufacturer has updated it (rx8 starter e.g.) I saw idiots actually rejecting the updated beefy starter because its not jenyann.

People paying money to buy the toll card piece for their jdm trashcan, why?? Its not even used in pakistan.