How do I convince my wife that I am not cheating on her? Help me out

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lahori1990 (lahori1990) 2013-07-14 00:14:45 +0500 #1

She is paranoid to an extent that every time I stay up late, she thinks I must chating with my mistress. Sometimes I get busy and stay up all night to finish my work. These days, I sleep after eating sehri. She thinks I am with someone. How do I convince her that I am honest with her and I would never cheat on her. This is the main reason why she doesn't want to have kids with me right now. She thinks I will run away with someone later in life. She is paranoid as hell, just like they show in a movie. It all seems like a funny movie but its really not. Married bros, help me out. I recently got married by the way

NakedTruth (NakedTruth) 2013-07-14 00:18:44 +0500 #2

... by cheating on her.

On a serious note, Divorce. You cant help paranoid people. She will destroy your life so before you go and start having little ' Lahori1990's' with her, divorce her.

Do this though. Ask someone senior from your family and her family. Only one person. Explain your condition to them with your wife NOT present. Only 1 from your and 1 from her family.

lahori1990 (lahori1990) 2013-07-14 00:27:58 +0500 #3

^^^^ Will never do that. Its not like she hates me or something, she probably loves me so much that she doesnt want to lose me. I can never do that to her. Above all, she is a human being, she has emotions and feelings.

fazalwahab11375 (fazalwahab11375) 2013-07-14 01:01:29 +0500 #4

sir.. InshAllah on 16th July I will be celebrating my 9th wedding anniversary. with my limited experience. I would say that one of you have trust deficit. First of all married couple should be together as soon as possible if initially due to certain reasons its not possible than its ok. But priority# 1 is should be together ASAP. Your 90% problems will be solved. I believe you guys don't stay at one place. Being here in such a liberal society where a GF is not a problem nor going to a club. my wife trust me that how I am. If even I go to a party, she trust and I will keep that trust. I can tell you once you are near to each other your trust on her and her trust on you will come in true value.

In the end no one can help you in this. you have to go to her and explain her. never ever use a phone for this discussion at all.

unware (unware) 2013-07-14 01:20:17 +0500 #5

Shes muslim and ur too, its ramadhan holy month. If your marriage life is in jeopardy u can swear on the name of Holy Quran. I know its not a good practice but in some cases where ones marriage life is on harm u can do it. Apart from that simply tell her that "You and your Allah knows the truth". I hope by doing so she will understand.
May Allah bless both of you and shower his baraka on all of us. Ameen

NakedTruth (NakedTruth) 2013-07-14 01:27:53 +0500 #6

So you want her to torture you mentally about something you are not even doing and the BIGGEST act that she doesn't want to have your babies?.

That is extreme!.

Slap some sense into her if you dont want to divorce her.

DANISH007 (DANISH007) 2013-07-14 01:34:11 +0500 #7

shoro shoro mei aksar wifes cher char karti hai, ahista ahista tim kay sat sat sab tek ho jata hai, agar wo aap kay sat esa saloq karti hai ,tho khafa ho jao ussay , or ignor her, tek ho jaye gi

onthehonda (onthehonda) 2013-07-14 01:55:16 +0500 #8

From your divorce idea, I'm pretty sure you're either not married or you're not living a happy life yourself.

jehanzeb109 (jehanzeb109) 2013-07-14 02:03:01 +0500 #9

Divorce is worst idea in the history of bad ideas. Love demands sacrifice. You have to show your love, affection and loyalty through your actions. How.. that varies from person to person depending upon their enviornment. You have to look for opportunities where u can win her.

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lahori1990 (lahori1990) 2013-07-14 02:25:52 +0500 #10

Thanks for all the replies. I really appreciate them all

ahm13 (ahm13) 2013-07-14 02:35:30 +0500 #11

dude seriously there no adult in your family u can discuss this with ??
bring adults in have a family meeting she will have no choice but to back off...

aqs29 (aqs29) 2013-07-14 02:38:56 +0500 #12

U can never convince a wife. Once she is convinced(Rightly or Wrongly) then tt's the end of "They Lived Happily Ever After".

kasaas (kasaas) 2013-07-14 02:40:16 +0500 #13

couple councelling........

v8 (v8) 2013-07-14 03:00:13 +0500 #14

That's a worst of advice you've given!! Divorce is most disliked halal act in front of Allah (s.w.t) and it is acceptable to practice only in a very extreme scenario. The one above is nothing as such!

@OP: You need to reschedule your work-life balance. The routine overtime you're devoting to work has actually got the right of your wife. Give that time to her and explain her that there is no one else in your life and show her that if you are busy then you're doing your work only. Don't give-up till the time she's convinced. It might take some time.

And involving any elder at this stage would only ruin the matter rather than any resolution. Try to fix things between both of you only. No one can win her trust upon you but only you!

btw.. welcome to the club! (H)

NakedTruth (NakedTruth) 2013-07-14 03:28:07 +0500 #15

I consider 'She doesn't want to have his babies' quite extreme. Why do we get married?. Answer this please.

Anyways, I did write get two family members. How quaint of you to not point that out.

drtanveerali (drtanveerali) 2013-07-14 03:35:38 +0500 #16

shift ur extra work in home... rather than doing it out side. when she watched u doing work in front, her attitude will get change. increase ur family as soon as possible so that she get busy too. in this way she dosent care abt ur late works.

lahori1990 (lahori1990) 2013-07-14 05:57:37 +0500 #17

No entry main Anil kapoor ki wife or Masti movie main vivek obroe ki wife or asli zindagi main meri wife. Sub ek jesi hain.

usmanulamin (usmanulamin) 2013-07-14 06:06:08 +0500 #18

Are you sure you are serious this time..? Or another thread for seeking attention of pakwheelers...?

jz (jz) 2013-07-14 06:14:29 +0500 #19

im amazed how people post such personal stuff on pakwheels.

lahori1990 (lahori1990) 2013-07-14 06:16:53 +0500 #20

I am not an introvert. I am always open for criticism and I love to share my stuff with others. If you want to be successful in life, you gotta connect with other people. More connection, more opportunities. I dont mind sharing my married life with you guys. We are all pakistanis and share same culture and tradition.