AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
FORD
backwards Driver Returns On Foot
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
Flipped Off the Road and Died
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MOPAR
More Old Parts Are Rusted
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Break down
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
Virtually Worthless
MG
More Grief or Mostly Grief
Lotus: Lots Of Trouble Usually Serious
Austin Healy.Always-Utterly-Swift-To-Infuriate-Numerous-Headstrong-Englishman-And-lousy-yanks
DAEWOO: Don't Even Wonder On to the On-ramp
CHRYSLER: Cars Have Really Young Sisters Looking Excitingly Racy
HUMMER: Huge Untamed Monster Making Enormous Ruins
JAGUAR: Just Another Gas Using Automotive Rustbucket
MG: Money's Gone
PONTIAC: Poor Old Nelson Thinks It's A Cadallac
SATURN: Stone And Tar Under Road Necesary
SUZUKI: Slow Unmoving Zero Unless Kicked Internally
FORD:Frequent Opinion,Really Disappointed
:Frequent Overhaul Rapid Deterioration
Honda :Heap Of Nasty Dented Aluminium
Pontiac :People On Narcotics Think It's A Chev
Holden :Hold On Love Damn Engine's Nackered
Datsun Dented And Totally Stuffed Under-Neath
ROVER - Relied On Vain Eastern Rescue
