So my parents conveyed the message via my grand mom to girls parents for permission for me and the girl to visit alone and to speak to each other a few times and if both agreed to proceed further, then my folks will make a formal offer.
I promised my parents that i would be extremely open minded and be completely sincere with my conduct and behavior and ofcourse treat the girl with respect as well. So the girls mom called my mom yesterday inviting us for a cup of tea and snacks at their place. My dad is travelling right now and my mother requested for permission to wait till he got back but they insisted and requested that we come.
So i personally took my mom today over to their place. I had a few butterflies in my stomach not knowing what to expect but eventually felt more relaxed and at ease as time went on. I am very introverted, shy and have Aspergers Syndrome, i choose to express my opinions and thoughts very carefully. But in my own family i definately come out of my shell for sure, once someone speaks to me and asks me questions then i really start talking and expressing my thoughts more freely.
So the parents invited me and mom in the living room where we started chit chatting, half an hour later, they called their kids down i.e. 2 sons and the daughter (i.e. the girl in question). Unfortunately inspite of my best efforts to be very open minded, my impressions of her in the last 6 years did not change. Her body language was off a person who didn't want to be there, who was scared and forced to be there. She like i have always observed stays quite, in the corner and only says something very briefly when asked a question. She works in a bank. But overall the girl is just too shy, quite, reserved for my liking.
Like i said i am introverted too, but i had no issues talking about Pakistani politics, Pakistani resteraunts, Cricket, Canada, USA with her folks and her brother. The girl on the other hand remained completely quite and scared to talk, speak and she has always been like this.
I like her parents, very shareef, straight forward and unambitious people. The girls mother is way more talkative in contrast to her and lol, she perhaps talks the most compared to everyone else in the family.
I once again explained my reservations to mom who went like "Achi shareef gharoan kee larkiyan jo hain itne araam se nahin khultin". "She was understandably nervous and felt she was being assessed". My grandmother laid into me and criticized me for not taking the initiative for talking to her, asking her questions and i countered "What the hell do you want me to do, i was speaking to her parents, brother, we were participating in a group discussion, what can i do if she sits there like a robot, if she does not participate or give her own opinion, thoughts on anything". Then my grandmother showed her true feelings by talking about my mothers declining health and the fact that this girl and family is the only one who will accept your family right now.
My dad overall is very perplexed by the fact that the girls parents invited us over to their place like this knowing full well he wasn't in town and even more perplexed that the parents and everyone did not create any opportunity for the two of us to speak privately.
Anyways i have told my reservations once again about the girl to my parents, grand mother, baby sister but overall no one gives a ****, they all basically are treating me like a loser and are using emotional black mailing tactics i.e. my mom's illness into forcing me to go through with it.
