DIY: Project "Cruisematec", cruise control for PKDM Honda Civic Reborn 8th gen

[rockerguy]

Zunny bhae! trust me.... more than looking forward to DIY, im absorbed in the story of affection of zunny with his baby!
Very interesting
And thanks for (to be) sharing the DIY... youre the man

[zunny]

episode 2035:
after arriving at Honda empire zunny was greeted with a smile by the service manager.was asked what i needed. I told him what the matter was. The oversmart manager gave a smile n said Koi Masla nahe ho jae ga aap idhar baetaen...... As zunny is he never trusts these dealershi*s he is always on the head of these mechanics. N so he ws. Senior Zunny was in the customer lounge sipping tea n reding the post. Zunny had told him it would be a 15-20 min job n all sorted. The electricain started diagnosing the problem bt checkinf fuses n the connections n even the connections at the horn but to no avail n it took em over 3 hrs but still no clue. He opened up the airbag and the steering wheel cover n hot wired an orange wire to the central nut.....peep peep! Zunny got happy as his baby was going to be fixed FINALLY YIPPEE !!
Zunny's happiness was short lived when the guy hurriedly shut the cover fixed everything back again n said they will have to reset it with the computer. So i said do it. He came to the service manger who said that the computer link with Atlas was down n that zunny had to make another trip. I said u shouldve told me earlier he said u should have called us before etc.... An angry customer was shouting at the service centre n all were looking at him. Snr zunny also jumped in and was a mini fish market... After saying all that he had in his mind zunny came out of the dealershi* n started his journey back home . ngry frustrated n what not n what not.....senior chaudry sahab was equally annoyed. There was still something left in store for zunny . Chaudry Sahab! Being vexed up at the dealershi* n not used to such customer services(as that of uk) n my 15-20 mins becoming 4 hours coupled with the decent conversation at the customer services some of the following comments n remarks had to be listened by zunny
"kinna aakhya c es BeBe naal punga le?
"hazaaraan logaan civic chalaande na tenno chouka shouk eh leather steeering lawaan da"
"oh kenda c Honda aala k assee aakhya c eh nee ho sakda fer v twada munda kenda eh k unno pata hae tey unna aakhya c o poori jawaabdeh howay da. Tou chooka Piyu haen tenu chooka pata hae es gaddi da Honda aaliya noo"
"tou honda de qaabil he nahi tenu alto hee theek c ya 2.0D"
"aur choop gannay" etc etc
translation after the break! Lolz

[zunny]

as saturdays now off zunny was told to get the breand n eggs from the bakery as his helper has proceeded on leave.bechara zunny....

[zunny]

as saturdays now off zunny has just been ordered by supreme court to to get the bread n eggs from the bakery as his helper has proceeded on leave.bechara zunny....

[Hertzberg]

Interesting
Subscribed !

[zunny]

bread sorted. The Epic Translation:
1. "Who the hell told you to mess around with this mother of yours?"
2. "Thouands of civic drivers are flawlessly driving their rides without any problem why the hell did u mess around with it ur a smarter a** than those honda guys that u thought ull get the leather steering sorted?"
3. "the honda guys were sayinng that we told ur son that it wasnt possible to install the controls but ur son said he knew how to fix it n they said that u had taken full responsibility of any mishap are u a bigger a**hole than those idiots?"
4. "now suffer the consquences you stupid useless piece of crap"!
Etc etc
Now imagine a 32 yr old father of 3,Grade 18 Federal Government Officer having to listen n bear all those comments whose a terror for his hundreds of under commands in his department! simply EPIC! Lolz

[zunny]

the ultimate comment that made it zunny's ego issue and waht made audio and cruise possible.....
" YOU WERE BETTER OFF IN YOUR SUZUKI ALTO OR YOUR TOYOTA COROLLA YOU DONT DESERVE TO DRIVE A HONDA"
now that was Chaudry Sahab! had it been anyone else you can imagine what would have been the answer! Hence the quest to sort out my baby started with VENGEANCE to DO or DIE!

[zunny]

the 1st n foremost thing to get working was the horn as in rest of the world its used for Animals only here its a must as we on the run are no better than those roaming cattle! So as zunny had seen the honda guy opening the airbag and hotwire the horn,he tried doing the same.he went to the hardware store n bought sometools such as L keys screw drivers etc

[zunny]

zunny did a bit of research on the web n found how to remove the airbag. So the battery negative was removed. Waited 10 mins n then opened the airbag. Disconnected the airbag connector and the horn connector n put the airbag to a side. Now put a wire in front of the orange wire of the connector coming out of the clockspring n attached it with the central nut of the steering hub. PEEP PEEP! Now this was zunny's hrn switch he would touch it manually with the nut . Whoever saw zunnys ride would say what happened.did u have an accident what went wrong etc. Zunny started disliking himself,his new leather steering n his oriel.what was the use of buying a n oriel with airbags when the airbag was disconnected? The airbag warning light was on n a wire dongling which was used as a horn switch. life was A HELL!

[zunny]

episode 2156:
while searching the answer to his queries zunny came across such a problem faced by a fordtruck owner where his airbag light, steering controls n horn wasnt working. The fault found was that of the clockspring . Now whats a clockspring? Is it a part of the clock or what? Zunny now shifted his focus to the clockspring.what the hell was that? Googling around made zunny know what a clockspring is.! Was his clockspring at fault or the ECU or did he short circuit any of the wires? Wadday Chaudry Sahab was right he didnt deserve a Honda , zunny had ruined her.....poor poor zunny n his beloved ride.....

[zunny]

new orders from Suppreme Court: as the Rs 11bn of Govts bill of elec is over so loadshedding has started again. Bored at home, as sat is now off. So bechara zunny is now ordered to go for shopping n meeting some relatives . So me off guys. In the meanwhile for all those who still dont know what a clockspring is heres a link where ive explained with pics as its a treal PITA to type on 1s phone hence cant do that again. So u guys understand the working of clockspring n will INSHAALLAH continue this star plus type soap in the evening!
www.pakwheels.com/forums/electrical-wiring-battery-lights/177234-cygnus-2005-steering-wheel-buttons-not-working

[DANY_KHANN]

Dan Brown you suck........... We have Zunny for the writing now LoLx.....
in every DIY thread i most look for the pictures but this is the first DIY thread that i am not worried about a picture at all.
ACTION, COMEDY, ROMANCE, DRAMA, SUSPENSE, THRILL, house full hai baba
Good going zunny.

[istafa111]

Bohat aala Zunny bhai...

You are the man!!!

[khurram_aziz]

Great thread...

@zunny your writing style is "charming" and it has "char chand laga diye hey"

[zunny]

zunny is back. Relatives are going back to england so the normal bye bye n take care stuff. Zunny had to 1st go to bazaar to buy few things n his laadli bigri howee baby doesnt go to bazaar in all that rush n congestion as she thinks she is from the upper class so the middle class Alti (alto VXR ) who doesnt eat lavish food as Cruisy (petrol only) rather poor mans daal roti(CNG) n works all day in the harshest of weathers day or night.poor alti she gets so tired while cruisy just sits around n has inc weight as its evident from her rear! 1 cute A** Cruisy has got! cruisy gets the best of everything. She always gets on elite places i.e weddings n dinners n parties n her route is nice clean n less dustier whereas Alti bechari goes to bazaars,schools where there are so many kids n rush,dusty rural areas in wet climates . Shez parked in the sun whereas cruisy hardly sees the sun. Cruisy gets the best makeup (waxes n polishes) with designer soaps n visits parlours(service station) whereas the hardworking Alti gets the inferior place in the garage. She isnt looked after as much as Cruisy but she works 10 times more. Where is Justice? Can you everget justice her is this countryr? Iftikhar choudary sahab is par bhi suo moto laen INSAAF INSAAF INSAAF! Alti has planned to give Imran khan a chance the coming elections as she is sick n tired of the minority elite such as Cruisy who do nothing yet enjoy all the privileges at the cost of the poor n middle class.... Alti hates her working environments yet she still has some selfrespect n loyalty n does her work with utmost snicerit and serves her master well yet she wants justice! Insaaf insaaf is all i can hearwhile anyoe npassers the gararage .

[raja_shahbaz]

you are the man!!

[tayyabbaig]

Zunny bhai... Aaala.

Thread going cool and technical at the same time.

[zunny]

episode no 9965:
In September 2010 , 9 September 2010 to be precise Zunny got his type R steering wheel . Zunny was anxious and wanted to get the steering fir with all the buttons working . Zunny took time off n managed to go to Honda Empire on 29th Sep 2010. honda empire spoilt zunnys dreams. N his clocky was broken. Zunny then started looking for a solution n found that his clocky had snapped coz the stupid honda guys had given an additional turn n as the turns are limited in both directions it snapped. Zunny thought a small plastic thing would hardly cost 2 or 3 thousand the most n rather would be even cheaper at the scrappies. zunny rang up Honda Classic islamabad n with confidence asked the spare parts section n thinking that as he knew what a clockspring was he was a heck of a guy and asked the salesman. arey bhai yeh oriel ka clockspring kitney ka hae? hold on a second sir, was the answer. oh Thank you for your wait sir so u want an oriel clockspring huh? Yas was zunny's answer. Sir Oriel Clockspring/cable reel price is RS 10580! WHATTTTT! I only want 1 not a dozen. yes sir Rs 10580 is the price of oriels clocky. Zunny was about to feint. Honda people are crazy blood suckers. Ill check from our most favourite n reliable BJ shop ! (Bilal Gunj!) . Zunny rang up a well known Honda parts dealer whose number he got from Pakwheels. Tring Tring. hello! Salam Paa jee oh Honda Da part chaida c! Jee Paa jee key shae chaidee hae ? was the reply. Zunny told what he wanted. "paa jee inni navee gaddi dey parts mushkil naal milsan. Reborn haygee?? Jee reborn was zunnys reply. Paa jee airbag aali phirki dee gal kar rahay ho? G G wohee wohee was zunnys reply. "Paa Jee 8 hazaar(rs 8000). 8 hazaar bhai 10 ka tou Honda say naya mil jaata hae! paa jee gaddi v teh 18 lakh dee hae! (car costs 1.8 million what is 8k for it??) zunny was about to feint ! Waht had he done? Why was it he that he had to pay extra 10k for a small mistake...

[zunny]

some reminiscience of some of the fun n updates can be seen in the following thread aswell!
www.pakwheels.com/forums/electrical-wiring-battery-lights/135215-install-cruise-controll-cars-2

[zunny]

episode 10981: FAST FORWARD!
After the initial setback zunny was disappointed n let down. His confidence level was low n he coudnt think of anything less his beloved cruisy. How she would have opened up her sweet voice with the touch of a button. N then both lovers would go on long drives and cruisy would cruise in zunnys arms! This time with the right buttons! Ive already mentioned that cruisy has a sweet rear n love her cute bum i would also like to tell you that cruisy is the only car assembled in Pakistan who is a complete beauty as she has DUAL AIRBAGS! Now you tell me which man doent love dual airbags in his lover! .................Lolz!