But seriously though mani... and i say this with no offence at all (believe this when i say it)... ur spending wayy too much way too fast...
u just started out with the SQ/SQL setups...u dont know really know practically what even the basic stuff is capable off...i mean i heard ur setup...the altis one...i could easily point out then and there almost 10 things that were completely disregarded and hence u were of the opinion ke im not satisfied and that i need to upgrade..
The INSTALL is the most important aspect of the system... it can either kill a system or make it truly shine.
That said... of course the choice of stuff is critical... but even if u go the KRX2 or the tempo route... if they arent installed perfectly (not properly but perfectly)...they will not sound good at all...that is a given !
the guy whom u demoed the setup off last night is one of THE most particular and dedicated guys you'll meet in your life....he is a perfectionist of sorts...so even though if his ride was dynamated and other shashkay etc...u can be sure that the parts that he did do, were of a perfectionist standard...and hence ur opinion as a result that his setup was pure endless bliss ! 
He and myself too are of the opinion, that if ur gonna do something.. you do it right..or just quit..
so the hardware matters yes... but ur ears are not trained to judge the traits of an SQ setup(no disrespect...but it comes with time..and likewise is the case with me)...i wudve been of the opinion that you for the time being...proper INSTALLED(the whole thing) the current system...paying special attention to particulars and u wudve noticed the difference then and there...
And then u gradually work the way up...critically analyzing the weak spots...and upgrading them...that way only one variable changes at a time...u realize where the flaws were and what upgrades were worth it...and ofcourse u get a hell lotta experience... as maddy said it...
"a system will only play as good as its weakest component"
you were listening to out of phase components...no wonder u were not satisfied at all...thats just not how it shud be...
so i suggest u do just that...there is a lotta stuff available in the audio scene...each of them have their bells and whistles...and each of them appeals to a different crowd..some might worship it some hate it... its all personal taste... which in my humble opinion ur not yet aware of...ke what ur actual listening taste is... u like stuff bright or mellow...how mellow is actually mellow ? not all metal domes are bright...and likewise not all silk domes are mellow... there's only so much the so called "reviews" can offer...cause simply u dont know the tastes of the guy who wrote them... and if they match with urs...
Also u said that SQ is all about listening to the music FLAT as such and stuff... while that may be essentially true...there is much more...
why do we spend so much on DSP's and other processors ? because they correct the flaws in the sound...thats what theyre meant to do...either on AUTO mode or MANUAL...
and also another correction...no mainstream headunit is TRULY FLAT... even at the FLAT mode of the EQ... it always lacks something and enhances the other... owing that to its DAC and other stuff... kenwood wud have a diff sounding FLAT..so wud sony or pioneer or Alpine...i guess u get my point.. every brand has particular traits which appeal to a different class of people (referring to listening tastes)..
a 24 bit DAC doesnt mean all of them wud be pure awesomeness.. there are further kinds..which when coupled with diff stuff sounds different... a Burr Brown DAC on pioneer wont sound the same as a sony's... similarly not every 24bit DAC is awesome... burr brown being one of the best of the bunch...for eg the "delta-sigma" DAC in the pioneers new 5250 and 7250 is not at all nice... a good standard 16-bit dac by alpine as such wud beat it by margins..
so since not all FLATs are the same...we have to use EQ for correction...EQ is not really artificial enhancement if used in moderation... and this brings me to this next thing u were talking about... ke all 5 band EQ's are the same... and it doesnt matter to have a larger band EQ cause u'll be running it flat anyways...
well lemme take the 5250sd for example... it doesnt have the 12.5 khz EQ...maxes out at 8khz...many ppl all over complain that it lacks highs response(referring to my earlier point that not all headunits are truly FLAT)... which is true...so ppl have to raise the 8khz considerably to make up for the lack...it has 5 band EQ... and now for contrast i take my pre... the 5150ub...it has 5 band EQ too...but a different set of 5 bands...it has the 12.5khz EQ at the highest also 10khz also 5khz etc... a broader range of EQ...hence more control of sound...
this is why we get DSP's ... which have a full 31 band EQ to offer...i.e maximal control over the spectrum and how it sounds... so either you use the DSP to tune it manually or use the Auto tune feature and let the mic be the judge...either way works..
sorry for such a long reply mani...i must admit i got a bit carried away...i apologize for that...but i mentioned a lot of stuff that is a must read for everyone...
so my final words are... Work your way up gradually...learn the basics...of everything...give time for your ears to get trained...u'll definitely enjoy the process much more...and the knowledge and experience that u'd gain wud be priceless...
Best of luck,
Shajeel.