Apple just launched the iPhone 17, finally fixing those battery drain issues that have haunted users for years. But what if Apple took that “battery magic” and built something bigger — the Apple iCar?
Would it solve Pakistan’s EV struggles? Or just give us another stylish excuse to sell organs? Let’s picture it.
1. The Price Tag 💸 (Kidney Economics)
Expect a starting price of $300,000. In Pakistan, that’s basically the price of a decent DHA plot. Why? Because Apple knows people will happily pay for a sleek design and a glowing logo.
And like every Apple product, the charger won’t be included. Apple would shrug and say:
“We assumed you already had one from your other EVs. After all, if you can afford the iCar, you’re definitely the type who parks a Tesla next to it — not a Mehran with a CNG cylinder.”
And the charger alone would cost you a kidney, maybe a liver too.
2. Battery: Finally Fixed… But Not for Pakistan 🔋
The iPhone 17 finally gave us a battery that doesn’t die before your day ends. Great! But in Pakistan, the iCar would still face the same EV nightmare:
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No charging stations in most cities.
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Bijli disappearing every time light chali jati hai.
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Range anxiety worse than your phone at 2%.
So even if the iCar battery were revolutionary, Pakistani users would still be scouting for sockets at petrol pumps.
3. Charging Port in the Wrong Place
Apple loves making things “different.” Therefore, the iCar charging port would probably sit on the bottom side, like the Magic Mouse.
That means if your battery is low, you’ll have to park the iCar upside down in your garage to charge it. Stylish, yes. Practical? Not at all… just like Magic Mouse.
So if you ran out of battery on the Lahore Ring Road, you’d have to flip your car upside down to charge it.
4. ❌Accessories ✅Necessities Sold Separately
If Apple can sell Mac Pro wheels for $699 and a monitor stand for $999, imagine what the iCar would cost.
- Tires? Sold separately.
- Car keys? Another $9,999.
Until you pay extra, the iCar would just sit in your driveway like a sleek silver brick.
5. Self-Driving… Straight Into a Tree
Apple would hype “Full Self-Driving.” But in Pakistan, it would glitch instantly:
- In Karachi, it would drive itself straight into a rickshaw.
- In Lahore, it would get stuck behind a donkey cart near Mozang.
- On launch day? It would probably mistake a tree for a shortcut and head straight for it.
(🤔Remember when Apple Intelligence had so many glitches it had to be disabled for two whole years? Yeah, that vibe.)
6. The Ecosystem Trap
Owning the iCar wouldn’t be enough. To unlock its best features, you’d also need an iPhone, Apple Watch, AirPods, and maybe even a HomePod.
- Want to start your car? Only works if your Apple Watch is nearby.
- Want to open the trunk? Siri’s job. But don’t be surprised if Siri opens your garage instead.
7. Classic Apple Moves
A few more things you could bet on:
- Colors? Silver, Space Grey, Midnight. That’s it.
- Yearly updates? Just a new horn sound, marketed as “revolutionary.”
- Android users? Forget it: no Google Maps, no Bluetooth. The iCar wouldn’t even let them carpool with you.
Final Thoughts
The Apple iCar would probably be the sleekest EV ever built — but also the most expensive headache in Pakistan, including resale issues.
Most importantly, you don’t want your iCar to be scratched by a motorcycle or Chingchi, because you certainly don’t want to imagine the cost of replacement parts.
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