Car Crash Tests in Pakistan to DISCONTINUE Unsafe Models

It’s the year 2022. The rest of the world is about to get flying cars. And, here in Pakistan, we are still dealing with poor quality cars with no airbags. Not anymore! The Pakistani auto market is finally getting some action with a car safety rating system where new cars will go through a series of crash tests to see how safe they are. 

After Euro, Latin, ASEAN, and Global NCAPs (New Car Assessment Programmes), we propose the Pak NCAP to evaluate the new car models on a number of safety protocols and rate them out of five stars. Here’s what will happen to the cars that perform poorly in the crash test.

💀 Car will leave the test centre with the ‘Walk of Shame’ song playing in the background. 

💀 The video will go viral in the country. 

💀 The company will publicly apologise for selling clunk and playing with the safety of its customers.

💀 The car will go out of production.

💀 The remaining stock will be sold at half price.

Cars to be Discontinued

Pak NCAP will cleanse the market of all the na-pak cars, and here are the criteria.

❌ Cars with less than four airbags

❌ Cars without rear seat belts

❌ Cars without electronic stability features (ABS, EBD, VSC)

❌ Cars without auto brake hold/hill start assist

❌ Cars without LED headlights

That means 99.9% of locally assembled cars would get less than two stars in the crash test and leave the market. Whatever car you are thinking of, yes, that too. Only 0.1% would make it through, which will cost a fortune. 

Hearing about the poor and unsafe cars getting kicked out of the market got you excited? It sure did. Sorry folks, but this was an April Fools’ prank. Nothing of the sort is happening, not now, not in the decades to come.

No matter how much we wish for this to be true, introducing a car safety rating system in Pakistan is a fantasy. Imagine if such a system were to be introduced in Pakistan, not one locally assembled car would score a perfect 5 out of 5, and most would fail miserably. That just shows how safe the cars we are paying millions of rupees on are. Happy April Fools’ Day!